Family Systems Theory

For this week of class, we learned about different theories that are found within the family system. The theories mentioned are exchange, symbolic interaction, and conflict. In exchange theory, the relationships that people tend to want to have higher rewards but lower costs. If a relationship reaches the point where it is bringing more costs than reward, then it’s likely that the relationship will end. From personal experience, this would be problematic in my family. It would be nice to have a relationship that has more rewards than costs, but if this were the case, then how would a family learn to grow together. Sometimes it’s better to sacrifice when it comes to the benefit of your family rather than satisfying your own needs. I’m not saying that rewards are not good to have, but rather they should not take precedence over the costs that help your family. One instance of the exchange theory that I have experienced in life was being paid money for getting good grades in high school. Though now that I am mentioning it, I feel sad that my siblings did not receive the same reward that I had. With the idea of being paid for my grades, I believe my mother came up with this idea to help me be more dedicated to school. Even if my mother had not had this idea, I probably would have still tried my best regardless if I received money or not. Another example I can think of is doing chores around the house. Whenever I wanted to go outside or go to a friend’s house, my mother told me that I first needed to do at least five chores before she would allow me to go. To be honest, I was not a huge fan of doing chores, but I knew that if I wanted to go hang out with friends, then I needed to do what was asked of me.

Symbolic interaction theory states that every human being is a cognitive creature who is both shaped and influenced by how they interact. One example that I have had of this theory was when I was a missionary for my church. I was grateful for the opportunity I had to serve, but there were some days that it has hard to serve with the mission companions that I had. To this day I am so glad that I had the companions that I had the opportunity to serve with, but there were some instances where I thought otherwise. I cannot remember the specifics, but I do remember one experience that I had with one of my companions. We were arguing about some kind of issue and I almost was about to explode with anger, but rather than yelling back at him, I decided that I would go to the adjacent room and cool down for a bit. Once I felt that I had a cool head on my shoulders, I was able to go back to my companion and resolve whatever issue we had. There was another instance that I had with a different companion. It did not bother to ask him at first why we were not being as productive with our time, so rather than talking to him about it, I decided to talk to the district leader about him. Once my companion had found out that I was talking bad about him, he got mad at me. From that time on I learned that it is better to talk to the person that you have an issue with rather than talking behind their back.

Conflict theory believes that inequality, conflict, and change are what defines societies as they contest for scarce resources. I cannot say that I have experienced conflict as much as the other theories that have been discussed, but I have felt at times of being persecuted when I was a missionary. I remember that not many people were interested in learning about our faith, but at least some people were nice about it though. I also look at the world today and how much conflict there is with people feeling like they do not have equal rights. It saddens me that we have conflict, I honestly wish there were more peaceful interactions between people rather than seeing them fight over something that is a small matter. I feel grateful to be living in a world where we do have freedoms and rights, but we need to end these strifes and contentions that people have towards each other. The very least we can do is raise our children to have love and respect for all people regardless if people return that same respect and love.


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