Transitions in Marriage

For this week’s class, we discussed the different transitions that can come into the marriage. With the view of a marriage, there are times that the wedding event can become more important than the marriage itself. Though I still have yet to find that special someone to marry, it saddens me that people make the wedding event such a big deal that they might forget the reason this celebration is occurring. If it were up to me, I would not mind if a wedding party did not even take place. I am speaking negatively about this, but even a small celebration would suffice for me. I am not big into having huge gatherings when it comes to events. When I get married in the temple, that is the only memory that I would like to hold onto throughout my marriage. Of course, I also want to remember the days that my children come into the world as well. The point that I am making here is that some memories are more precious than others. It shocks me to learn just how much the average wedding costs to put together, around $30,000 at least. My current job now is working retail and at times I would see front covers of magazines depicting troubling relationships or intense divorces. There are times I wonder to myself why people get married for a time only to later on divorce. I hope to not offend anyone by saying this, but why can’t people work out their differences effectively. It saddens me that people are too hasty in choosing to get a divorce rather than finding ways of working it out. For those who are members of the church though, holding a wedding party inside a church building will lower the cost since you can use the building for free. In the class though, there was an interesting question that someone had posted. Their question was if there was a correlation between focusing too much on the wedding event and divorce. I feel like in my mind if someone is too focused on the wedding and not on the actual marriage, then yes, I do believe that the marriage could end in divorce. It was also mentioned in the class that one of the reasons a wedding event is planned is for the guests. Based on what I have discussed here, I would encourage anyone who is reading this to focus more on your marriage to your spouse rather than any other festivities. The wedding party might be great and all but remember the reason why you are having it in the first place.

When it comes to marriage relationships though, not all of them happen the traditional way. In increasing numbers, the method of cohabitation is becoming more prevalent in deciding a potential marriage. In the research that has been done, scientists have defined cohabitation as the “testing ground” to see if the relationship will blossom into marriage. Now it’s not to say that a cohabitated relationship could not become stronger after marriage, but research has found that this type of relationship is likely to end the marriage. As members of the church we are taught to go on dates that will eventually lead to courtship, then to engagement, and finally towards marriage. It’s better to take it slow rather than rushing into a relationship that may not work. The problem with cohabitation is that there is no marriage commitment, which means that if the relationship does not work out, then either partner is free to live. I have not personally experienced a relationship like this, but I did have an experience with it on my mission. There was one couple in one of my areas that had a son together. From what my companion had told me about this couple the husband was interested in the church and had expressed the desire to be baptized. This raised a complication and we told him that he could only get baptized if he and his girlfriend were willing to get married or separate. While the boyfriend was all for getting married, his girlfriend had no desire to get married. To this day I do not know what became of this couple, but it goes to show that cohabitation is not the best route to take. For the boyfriend, he did not want to separate from his girlfriend due to the risk of not seeing his son again. Based on what I have learned on this topic, it’s better to build a relationship the way Heavenly Father has intended it to happen rather than following the world’s way. His ways will forever be higher than our ways and the ways of the world.

Comments

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