Communication & Mutual Problem Solving
In this week’s discussion, we focused on communication and how we can improve upon communicating with others. We also discussed ways that we might be able to help each other in dealing with conflict. Most of the time when we communicate we use verbal communication to express our thoughts or desires. Though verbal language is important to state what we are thinking, our nonverbal language communicates how we deliver those words. From personal experience, I have always loved having conversations with my mother. Some of the topics that we discussed may have been challenging to talk about, but we were able to support each other during that hard discussion. I view communication as extremely important, without it, how can our relationships become stronger? It’s always comforting to know that I have someone that I can go to when I need to get something off my chest. Once I make known my desires and thoughts, then I can receive feedback that confirms my thoughts or influences me to make changes. Even when there are times of conflict, communication is vital to make our relationships stronger. If you don’t allow yourself time to talk to your spouse/children, then you could find your marriage and your relationship with your children could suffer as a result. Growing up I can remember that my communication skills were not the best, but looking at my life now, I have come along way from being a shy kid. Though verbal communication is an important skill to develop, listening is just as important. Developing the skill to listen to what others are saying will help them to know that you care about what they are telling you. However, certain styles are not as productive when it comes to listening to others. One of these styles is The Faker. This style illustrates that other people might smile and nod at what we are saying, but they are usually thinking about something else. The second style of listening is The Dependent Listener. A person who adopts this style focuses more on if the other person positively views them in a good way. Though there may be some things that they do not agree with what the other is saying, the individual will tend to agree with them to maintain the relationship.
Another topic of importance to communication is that
of conflict. Sometimes having conflict can be viewed as a negative experience,
but no relationship is free of conflict. In the long-term having conflict can
help strengthen a relationship. When you have conflict as a child you tend to
go to your parents to help you resolve it. Similarly, when conflict arises
between married couples, then it is the responsibility of both spouses to find
ways of resolving the conflict. When conflicts are not resolved on equal
grounds, then arguments are likely to break out. While it is healthy to have
disagreements at times, constant arguments could lead to unhealthy
communication. Not only could arguments affect the relationship between
spouses, but it could also be detrimental for a child. Children who grow up in
this specific environment will likely experience problems in their own lives
once they reach adulthood. The best solution to keep this from happening is for
spouses to work together to resolve any issues that may arise.
One method that the church emphasizes should be used
is family councils. When Jesus Christ was upon the Earth he organized councils
such as the 12 apostles. Likewise, in His church today the Lord has called different
councils to direct the work of salvation. The purpose of family councils is to
gather the family together to talk about what is going on in everyone’s lives.
It is also in this setting where any conflicts that have occurred can be
resolved with everyone present. We all have conflicts from time to time and the
family is the best environment to overcome them. When you hold a family
council, you must emphasize that everyone’s voice will be heard if they have a
specific concern. I can tell from personal experience that the use of family
councils do help make the family stronger. I cannot remember the last time my
family and I have had a family council, but I know it has been a while. Hopefully,
sometime soon we’ll be able to make time to have another family council. For
those who are reading this I want you to know that whatever problems you are
facing, I would encourage you to take the time to talk to your spouse and work
together to find solutions to overcome those problems. A family is stronger
when they work together and has the Lord to guide them in the decisions they
are to make. When it comes to counseling though, make sure to have a spirit of
love in your words.
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