Divorce and Blended Families

 It’s that time for another blog post, but sadly, this will be my last blog post for this semester. I am truly grateful for this amazing experience of sharing not only what I have learned from the class but also in sharing my personal experience with these various topics.

In this week’s discussion, we talked about the reasons why divorce happens and the process of remarriage, and the experience of blended families. The concept of divorce from a church perspective is viewed in a negative light. As stated in the Family Proclamation, marriage is ordained of God between a man and a woman. Though we all will face hardships within marriage, we should do all we can to grow together as a couple rather than allow the relationship to weaken with time. The only reason divorce should be considered is when no other options seem to work. The least effective style of divorce is the no-fault divorce which states that no one needs to provide evidence of wrongdoing of the spouse. If couples simply want to end the marriage for no reason, then it is legal to do in a majority of states. Though it may seem that divorce would be the easier way out of dealing with a serious problem, we should work out our difference so that children can have a positive role model in dealing with different stresses. It has been found within the research that if parents seek to resolve their differences rather than simply get a divorce, then it can help motivate them to adopt the same methods as their parents. From personal experience, I have seen the effects that divorce can have on a family. Though life may have been a little tough with only one parental figure, I did have some stepfathers that were simply not the best examples in my life.

When my mother first met my current stepfather, we were still living in Eastern Oregon. During this time, I was still in my freshman year of college while my mother was a special education teacher at South Baker Intermediate school. From my experience of past stepfathers, I was glad to hear that this guy that my mother was dating seemed to be a nice guy. When they had decided to get married, I learned that we would have to move again, but this time to a different state. Living in Wyoming is not all that different from Eastern Oregon, although there are days when the wind can be a pain to tolerate. The first time that I met my stepsiblings I remember it being a little awkward, but as time passed, I have had such great conversations with each of my stepsiblings. You could say that I was accepted into their fold, of which I was grateful. I remember one time when I was younger that I would have wanted a younger sibling, but my mother told me that there was probably no chance of that happening. It’s amazing to see how Heavenly Father works and he provided the way for my mother and my current stepfather to meet, even if it was online. Instead of only having four siblings in my family, now we are a blended family of 12. It’s almost like having a similar experience with the cheaper by the dozen movie, but most of my stepsiblings already have homes of their own. Based on what we learned in class, it can be hard for some families to make that transition from being divorced to marrying a second time. For example, certain traditions within each family might have to either be changed or adjusted to meet the needs of the current blended family. Children especially have a hard time with changing certain traditions because it gives their family identity and purpose. To have those traditions all of a sudden be changed could rob them of that identity and therefore make them confused as to what identity they should adopt now within the family.

To this day I am still striving to have a strong relationship with my stepfather, but there are times when it can be a little challenging. Some of the interests that he has are different than mine, but that has not deterred me from putting more effort into the relationship. Though it has taken great effort to build a relationship with my stepfather, I am grateful for the strong bonds that I have with my stepsiblings. One activity that we love to do together, especially during the hard times of today, is gaming with each other online. I have also loved it when they come to visit and spend time with us. While they visited we would often play different board games with each other and talk about what is going on in each of our lives. We also hold weekly family video chats to check in with each other to see how our week has been. My family has always meant everything to me, I am truly grateful for not only the relationships that I have with my siblings but also with my stepsiblings.

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